How do I move forward from here? I feel lost! I'm afraid, the feeling is surreal. the inadequacies that I possess are demoralizing to put it bluntly. I can't seem to get a grip on my emotional insecurities and I know this will be my own demise. Gifts! HA! I am a most imperfect person. I have scars to prove it, not only physical but emotional, and accepting the emotional scars is so much more difficult than accepting the physical ones. I infuriate myself daily, why can't I be 'NORMAL'? Why must I be the one who loses control of her own fears, and allow others' to be themselves. Do I have to be the saboteur? Damned I suppose. I know that my imperfections are real and they can be a deadly sin for me, what must I do in order to rid myself completely of them. I'm not seeking perfection, just happiness, absolute happiness. I have tasted happiness, then I ruin it.
Diamonds are imperfect yet they are admired by all even with their imperfections. Why can't I just be happy with my gifts of imperfection? Why must I constantly fight with myself? Why do I continuously do all that I do? Will someone, please, please give me some guidance, before it's too late, before I destroy a love completely.
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