In the hopes that one of these days I will finally feel complete and a part of, I have chosen to travel the narrow roads, although they still are twisting and turning, they are by far the less of two evils. Like a horse with blinders' I will not be swayed in any direction other than the one I am trudging today. I can see clearly that I was without a doubt a miserable girl in a woman's frame, and that I spewed misery on all that I encountered. I am moving on with MY life and I suggest that others' do the same, a life of absolute happiness, compassion, trust and unconditional love. I do without any uncertainty know what I want and deserve today. It's taken me a long time to get where I am, and I know I fall occasionally, but I am always willing to stand up, brush the dirt off and move forward again. I can sit here and make excuse after excuse for my actions, but they would more than likely be untruths, so I will accept all that I have said and done, take a deep breathe, and let all of it go.
I had often wondered and still do from time to time, if life were a test of will. I believe that the saying, "Survival of the fittest", suits me. I am stronger today than I ever imagined I could be, my will is just that mine. I am not swayed in any way, shape and/or form I wish not to be. I do not allow others' to manipulate my thoughts, because they are mine as well. I have regained consciousness and am aware of my surroundings, all of them. Today my heart is flooded with love, and this love has shown me that I need not be insecure, of myself nor others'. It's a breath of fresh air actually to be able to breath freely without gasping for air every so often. I never imagined a day would come, when I felt unconditional love, love that I give so freely to my own children. It has warmed my soul, and I can now rest assured that all I've read in books is in fact a reality. <3<3
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