June 12, 2011

     Sometimes I reflect upon songs to explain to myself what it is perhaps that I may be feeling or wanting at certain times in my life.  Celine Dion - It's all Coming Back to Me Now. This song is about a lost love, however; I talk about love that I lost, love within myself, not having nor wanting to love.  It is all coming back to me and then some.  I have opened my heart and released my past, in order to move forward I had to do just that, otherwise live in complete misery along with the rest of the world for all eternity.  I'd rather be alone than be miserable.  Although along the road I had been traveling out of the woods appeared a silhouette of a man, and I wasn't afraid, not in the least.  He was sweet, and soft spoken.  I sometimes fancied the idea, then let it go by the way side for fear once again took control of me, and the thought of letting another into my heart was unthinkable.  I reflect back on every moment after that introduction and think how silly of me to allow my past interfere with divine happiness. Weeks had passed and this silhouette became an image in my mind, I would search for him daily, yet it seemed he had been lost somewhere in all of the clatter that I had been storing for all of those years.  I have cleared my mind, so as to visualize daily the beauty and wonder that the God is placing before me.  I have been witness to beauty, but have taken advantage of such in the past.  I want all that is being offered before me and then some.  I may sound out of context on occasion but that may just be my own insecurities taking charge of my mind, body and spirit, so that I may continue to live MY life with splendor.  I can only wait patiently for this volcano of love that sits within me, to erupt and when it does the world will know.  You see, this silhouette has changed me, changed my direction, given me hope and the ability to see past miniscule and insignificant obstacles, and he is no longer a silhouette but a vision of beauty that I want to share with no one.  Perhaps that's selfish of me.  I close my eyes and am there, I can once again feel love, taste love and it's the most splendid thing I have yet to witness.