June 3, 2011

This past week has been, without hesitation, the longest of all weeks I have endured.  GOD has certainly given me the strength to continue moving forward. It's certainly about letting go of fears and allowing others' to step over the lines I have drawn in order to protect myself.  Why must I make mountains out of mole hills?  I'll tell you why!  Insecurity finds it's way into my head, sitting and stewing there, waiting for the most inopportune moment (or not) to slam dunk itself so to speak to the forefront of my mind, then ever so cleverly escapes unknowingly.  It spews itself all over, engulfing my every movement, every thought, every action and reaction, then without any reason at all lashes out and wreaks havoc once again.  I thought I had overcome my insecurities, or have I?  It is ever so tiresome, not possessing the ability to control my emotions and/or thoughts.  I not only obscure my own vision but that of others' I surround myself with.  I must maintain daily a positive attitude and outlook, right here, right now is where I need to stay.  If I venture ahead I may lose sight of what it is that I am doing in the moment, and the same applies for falling behind and dwelling on past experiences.  So, I've convinced myself, right here, right now, that I am where I need to be.  I am that girl, still, standing before you, asking you to love her, all of you, and all of me.