July 7, 2010

So I presume that every day is going to be a struggle, but I need to realize that I MUST (not an option) remove myself from dangerous situations, by that I mean staying away from people, place and/or things that encourage and enable me to feel so low that I have no where else to turn but the bottle. The heat is overwhelming and it seems as though there is absolutely no escaping it as well as myself, if that makes the least bit of damn sense? Who am I to judge myself or anyone else for that matter? I am only human and I definitely do make mistakes, probably more so than the average person, but there's always a lesson to be learned, and I'll be damned if I'm not learning. Learning to crawl that is...those damn baby steps are the freakin' worst, I keep stumbling and walking into damn walls. Tomorrow is a new day and I plan on keeping my focus, I need to if not for myself but for my children, then when I feel strong enough to let go of the hands that help me I will ( I know I will) walk on my own two feet. Finally, I'm seeing people for who they are, not what I perceived them to be, it's as though the skin has been peeled back and I am seeing for the very first time, their true identities. GROSS! It's me that needs to have the skin peeled back.