July 30, 2010

So goes by another month as quickly as the last and those before that one. It used to seem that time stood still and yet continued to move ahead at a rather slow and agonizing pace, but that's not the case any longer. The days are seemingly endless while the sun is shining, and when the night creeps up on me, it's as though the darkness takes over my soul, (if that makes the least bit of sense) consuming me completely in it's grasp, the unknowing, or the nothingness takes hold of me and drags me to depths I thought I'd never encounter again, yet it's there, calling out my name, screaming to me, wanting me to fall to my knees and give in to the girl I once was. I wonder some days if I'll have the strength to make it through, to close my eyes long enough to envision what it is I dream of...I know it's there, somewhere, but where? I hear the voices of other's telling me to hold on to my dreams, telling me I have the strength of a thousand men. I'll agree my shoulders are broad, but only to hold myself up physically.