July 15, 2010

It seems as though out of the woodwork they all come, from different angles and at the oddest hours of the day, but dealing with my past and those damn skeletons that I've allowed to control me is the most difficult. I have some faith and a minuscule amount of strength left over from the days before and hope that it will be enough to carry me through all that I know I am about to endure. I am not trying to "sugar coat" (as they say) what's been done, because it's been told to me by those closest that perhaps (and I do wonder) this and all that I've experienced is a "BLESSING IN DISGUISE". I often wondered how the hell can a bad experience or for that matter a life time of bad choices be a blessing in disguise, but when I actually take the time to sit and reflect on the paths I've chosen I realize now that DAMN right they are all blessings. I've learned from each and everyone of 'em. I always thought that blaming others' was the answer and pointing the finger would ease the pain, but I need to realize that I am the only one that can conquer and bury the past. DAMN skeletons scare the shit out of me too, I tell ya'.