Such a doldrum day, is this why they say sitting and stewing in your own shit? I think not, I'll clue you all in on a lil' secret...the attacks from others' the holes that have been dug so deep its' a heart wrenching hurt, the accusations thrown and the fingers constantly pointed are what makes us think we are sitting and stewing when all I am really doing is weighing the pros and cons at this very moment and every moment here on out. I have reached my limit, seriously, and I know everyone thinks, yea right you've said that before, or perhaps that I'm bullshitting them, you know feeding a line, hook without the sinker...FUCK!!! Not this fucking time, this is for real, I am standing on the edge just waiting for that last and final push, cuz there's no one other than me standing there, so I either jump or take a step back huh? I just want black and white, on a piece of paper, hand written. Please!? Here I am all by myself, finally, at last...pushing these thoughts through my mind as quickly as they appear. I don't want to think them, better yet I don't want to think at all anymore, it's too time consuming and extremely confusing most times. I know what it is I need to do in order to maintain my sanity if there's even a morsel of that left, or did I allow others' to take that too? Hmmm...simple questions, with complex answers, not what I'm looking for either. FUCK ME! Shouldn't have to be this way, so then why am I allowing myself to fall through the cracks and lower my standards and allow others' to dictate how I feel, live, laugh and love?
No comments:
Post a Comment