December 12, 2011

There are few things in life that give me absolute pleasure, and I haven't the slightest idea today what those things might be.  I've lost focus for so long that all of those things that I once thought were pleasurable turned out not so...It's rough terrain, and I've been traveling alone for such a long time now.  Falling off the beaten path, venturing into the wilderness, almost losing myself completely, but I am here, somehow, someway, someone thought me worthy enough to be spared the misery that lay at the end of that path I was trudging.  I'm putting all of my eggs (my faith) into one basket now in hopes that whomever or whatever it was that redirected me is doing so for the better.  I have nothing to lose but everything to gain or so I've heard it said a million times over. i believe but can't be certain that I'm gaining, perhaps only perspective but gaining nonetheless. I have taken the life that I've been given for granted and am just now learning how to live, slowly, but I'm learning.  Some may say that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but I am living proof that with a little will-power and the perseverance to move forward change is inevitable.  I am scared to death most days, and the fear overpowers all else, yet I always find that miniscule glimmer of hope, and hold onto it for dear life until the fear subsides, even if momentarily.