December 27, 2011

I have noticed that in the past year and the most recent months that the negativity I allow to control my thoughts as well as my actions, has more of an affect on my own self-worth than anything else.  I have tortured myself for so many years believing that I was worthless and hopeless.  I believed that all to be true, that I was delusional and my sense of self was warped, all of these things were brought on by my own actions and reactions to situations I allowed myself to be held hostage by.  I am no longer bound, and I can hear my own thoughts scurrying frantically around in my mind to find a safe haven to hide only to present themselves later.  I can't allow it.  For the past few days, I've noticed a change within myself, scary to say the least that I have the ability to actually feel the changes and be witness of my own actions and reactions.