July 12, 2011

One can only imagine the terror behind the irrational thoughts, that continuously explode at the most inopportune moments of any given day. I don't know how much more of this I am able to endure.  They implode inside my head, and create images that I know full well do not under any circumstance exist any longer.  I hate having the past creep up on me like a an evil spirit lurking in the shadows, waiting for me to let my guard down, and attack.  It's overwhelming, and frightening to say the least.  What more can I do to rid myself.  How much more pain must I endure?  Why can't it be black and white?  Why does everything in life have to have a price tag attached to it?  I just want to be happy, carefree and happy.  Enjoy life, run, skip if I must, feel the sun and the rain beating down on my skin.  Is it all really too much to ask?  These things that I ask for aren't pricey, they are simple and yet, they seem so far out of reach, yet they are all right there for my taking.  Simple?  Why yes, it does seem so, however; I must complicate matters by throwing shit into the mix, the shit being my own insecurities.  Damn them.  I reach out and touch, I feel with my heart, I taste with my eyes, and I love with all that I am.  Simplicity at it's finest, and it is going to be the "Grandest of all Finales."