January 27, 2014

There are many moments throughout the course of a day that I reflect on a phrase that I have heard time and time again. "If he brought you to it, then he will surely bring you through it." Is this a fucking joke or something? Who came up with this shit? 'He', who is 'he' anyway? What if 'he' is a 'she' and that 'she' is merely 'me'? So, essentially, I bring on my own problems, cause my own misery and am expected to allow another to bring me through it? Damned if I do and certainly damned if I don't. It's all a crock to say the least. He who brought me to it, if in fact 'it' is all intentional, by intentional I mean perhaps a learning experience of sorts (who's to say for certain), then just push me in already. I have had my fill of learning experiences. There is nothing more I need to be 'brought' to nor do I have the desire to be standing there on the very edge waiting for the slightest breeze to thrust me in to the abyss. I don't understand why I even bother trying to recover myself from such a dark place. I've grown so comfortable being there and to be completely honest, the fucking light is hurting my eyes. I'd rather be left in the dark then aware of my surroundings anymore. It's a set-up.