January 15, 2014

As the day carries on, I find myself reflecting more and more on all of the 'what ifs'. I just can't seem to get past any of it and I'm not certain I ever will. Is there a magic potion or a pill that I need to swallow in order to rid my mind of all that ails it? I give my 'will' over and take it right back more times in a day than conceivable. It's absolutely ridiculous if you ask me. I am still holding onto hope, that I will be rid of all the unnecessary bullshit that plagues my mind. I know it's what is holding me back. A damn daily struggle, fighting off anger, and shame, and regret, and most importantly FEAR! If given one day, just one solitaire day without the rumbling inside of my mind, perhaps then that one day will soon turn in to two and so on and so on.