January 13, 2014

The irony of things is most certainly mind blowing. I have spent hours upon relentless hours pondering thoughts that I have no business pondering any longer. Why must I continuously revisit the past. I understand that most of my experiences are defining moments in my life, and that they have all contributed to who I have become today. Which brings up another question...who the fuck am I anyway. I look in the mirror and see a reflection looking back at me yet, I don't recognize who that woman is. Her eyes are sad and her face is showing her age. It's as if the 'eyes to her soul' are hollow. I see no life in her gaze, just emptiness. Perhaps it's all in my mind. Perhaps I am delusional as I've been told many a time. I have tried so hard to brush these feelings off but...they are persistent. I try to give my all no matter the circumstance and am left feeling lonelier than when I first embarked on this 'journey'. There has got to be some way to rise above all of the madness I have surrounded myself with. Where do I begin?