January 6, 2013

Deflated as a woman, defeated as an individual; do I give up or continue to fool myself into believing that "this too shall pass"?  How inconsiderate of me, should I ask the almighty "G.O.D." for forgiveness because HE has none for me.  I'm completely grief stricken... Fuck everything and run, or face my FEARS head on and fight for what I believe in. I can't be certain I have an ounce of fight left in me.  I am at the very bottom right now, and from where I sit there isn't a light at the end of anything, just mere darkness and it saddens me to admit it.  I have created my own mess and I have no idea where to begin to pick up the pieces, if there are any left to be picked up that is, and place them where they belong for one final time.  I wish that I could say with all honesty that I haven't worn out my welcome, however; I believe I bit the hand that feeds one too many times and my welcome has expired.  I can't be certain, although I am just about there.  If there is any strength left for me to have, PLEASE give it to me now, because I am crawling in desperation and need someone, something to somehow bring me up off of my knees.