Thursday, November 15, 2012
November 15, 2012
My days are going by so slowly lately, leaving entirely too much time for the mini me to wander around aimlessly in my own mind. Insecurities abound, ones' I had thought were washed away. They are there. Right here, everywhere, glaring with piercing eyes telling me what I already know. I don't want to listen, yet I'm driven to my knees and forced to hear with naked ears the words I once lived by. I know I'm not worthy, I know I don't deserve, I know all of this so why can't they leave me alone. Why are they so fucking persistent, WHY? I just want to be left alone without an echo from even the slightest whisper. I try with all of my might to make heads or tails of situations today, and for some unknown reason, perhaps because of a power greater than myself I am left in the dark. A darkness that is becoming increasingly impossible to navigate through, it's drawing me in deeper and deeper, moment by moment. I know that I have no one to lean on, I haven't a shoulder to cry on but my own. Why even fucking bother anymore. Fuck this life. I haven't the strength to pull through this shit another day...and if by chance I make it through this one, please tell me why! PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! JUST ONE FUCKING DAY, THAT'S ALL I ASK, ONE FUCKING DAY. Let my mind not wander into uncharted darkness, please.
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Kelly, you have the power to overcome ALL obstacles! It is TIME to get rid of the evil, negative thoughts and start thinking POSITIVE ones! You know this!
ReplyDeleteYou have so much to be thankful for and you are blessed. God has kept you safe! You also know this!
Starting right now, repeat this and continue repeating it every time you start thinking negatively...it takes time but you will succeed in erasing the negativity!!! PROMISE!!
"I am wonderfully made and am deserving of good because I am a child of GOD!"
"I am Blessed with 3 wonderful children, gifts to ME from a Loving GOD!"
"I am blessed with a Mom who loves me UNCONDITIONALLY and is always there for ME"
And, finally, repeat this prayer every morning and evening starting NOW!!!
"Heavenly Father, remind me that you are always ready to help me through my life, no matter how difficult the task may seem" Thank you for the gift of life! Amen!!!!
I LOVE YOU Kelly, I want to read positive stuff in your blog.......