There is no peace within the confines of my mind, it wanders in directions I'm afraid of daily. I've even gone so far as to strategically place barriers that I assumed would keep my mind safe, yet as all else, I failed. Failed relationships, failed friendships, just a failure. I said earlier today that I'm waiting to live, waiting to die, waiting...waiting...waiting. I think that I have waited long enough.
I have been struggling lately with words that have been thrust in my direction, and the longer they linger the more intense the fear becomes. I feel like 'Peter Pan'; afraid of my own shadow today. I've been trying to keep my mind busy by frantically cleaning nooks and crannies I've recently discovered, yet nothing seems to ease my mind. The thoughts, and ideas that cause my grief, linger, and obscure every last bit of my sanity. I do believe that this might be another "RANT" day.
What more need I say or do in order to allow others' to see "ME"? I realize that I may seem complicated and my ideals are thrown to the wayside as with all else. What the fuck does it matter anyway. I'm delusional and my sense of self is warped.
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