June 24, 2010

I realize now the impact my drinking has had on my family and friends, what the hell was I thinking and for how long have I been lost? WOW!! I obviously haven't taken into consideration anyone other than myself, so does that really make me selfish, or just blinded by a substance trying to bury myself in the bottle? It's a strange feeling actually and it's only been less than a week, I have energy that's been lost, and it's awesome. I'm able to actually function, fall asleep, wake up at a decent hour get off to work, and work an entire day, I'm not saying that I'm not thinking about having a drink cuz I'd be an absolute liar, but then again I've been called a liar for more years than I care to recall. I can honestly see clearly now, isn't this just absolutely crazy. I listen to friends talking about partying and I think to myself, damn, just one more drink then I'll stop, but I know me, and I'm sure everyone else knows me, one isn't going to do, maybe two or three, damn the entire bottle, that's what I've become; a bottle. Why have I allowed this to happen, I cannot honestly answer without placing blame on someone or something else, seems odd, but it's a fact. I can say that stress has definitely played a major roll in my drinking, and it's not an excuse it's a reality.