February 18, 2013

Living in the moment is quite difficult with all of the outside influences trying to bombard my mind. I look down at my feet and take notice of where I am, "right here, right now", I need to remind myself that I am not in control. I gave my will over to the power of one who is much greater than myself. I am trusting that he will give me strength to endure each day as it comes (with my extreme highs and lows) and light the way I must travel, because I know I will lose my way easily. I find it most difficult today to give my will away. I want to take it back and I know I will only return to that horrifying place that I was summoned out of for whatever reason it was. in the sunlight of the "spirit" where I am warm as opposed to the damp stank darkness I am oh so familiar with. I struggle. I don't want to engage in the negativity that that freaken darkness brings me to. Please help me. Give me more strength. I feel I'm losing my footing and I'm scared.