September 25, 2012

As fear fills the room, every room that is, I sit and wonder why I allow it to consume me. I know it's there, I sense it's presence yet I do nothing to escape it today. I take time out to catch a breathe or two, then resume my place amongst the living dead. I allow thoughts of fearful events (of which have not taken place) to crowd every inch of my being, and overwhelm me. I should shrug these things off as if it were a leaf floating by however; I haven't the strength to stand up to it or them. It's as if I've given in to this demonic being, although it be non-existent visibly. I hear it's voices, and it scares me half to death. I know it's lurking around every crevice every corner awaiting my arrival. What dreams may come true this time? It's unthinkable to say the least. There it is, FEAR, watching, waiting with it's seething teeth. It's perpetual thirst for my last drop of sanity. Not an ounce of common courtesy either, for it knows no such thing. It's voracious talons continue to dig deep, scraping the bones after the flesh has been removed from scars that had been dug previously. Am I to put to rest myself for all eternity or continue dragging myself through painful "life experiences", or do I immerse myself in the IDEA that a "happily ever after" could possibly exist? Which direction shall I turn, and if I make the wrong decision (as I'm accustomed to) will I persevere, OR will I finally admit complete defeat and give up? Is there anyone who truly gives a flying fuck whether or not I am allowed peace and happiness? I have yet to encounter a single LIVING soul. Selfish thoughts consume the universe, everyone for themselves or so it's said.