September 21, 2011

I have such a raging yearning to escape myself almost daily, that it overwhelms my every breathe.  How do I maintain my peace of mind throughout the course of another 'ordinary' day without losing control of myself, and feeding into the negativity that surrounds me?  I'm not saying that I surround myself with negativity, but yet am surrounded by such.  Do I attract the negative and disregard the positive?  I don't believe so.  I was beginning to think that my life was on a path unknown to me.  Once clouded not with negative thoughts but hopes and dreams, yet there is always that trickle of rage that attacks my soul and releases itself instantaneously.  Then again is it rage or something else I refuse to acknowledge, or have I acknowledged it and have no idea how to deal with it? Okay I do know how, but should I have to indulge others' in doing so?  I think fucking not.  I can own it, and I can be insecure, jealous, neurotic, eccentric, compassionate, loving, somewhat trusting, it's all a  part of my 'make~up'.  I am exactly where I'm supposed to be, loving exactly who I'm supposed to be loving, living life exactly how I'm supposed to be living it, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!