May 24, 2011

The day in the life it should read, however; things are not always what they seem or are they?  Have I blocked myself completely off from others' in order to protect myself? Lest ye forget, ye are doomed to repeat. The overall concept is puzzling.  I have forgotten, or have I really?  I have repeated myself quite frequently if my memory plays back correctly.  I've repeated actions, and reactions, fallen into the same miserable traps, horrible relationships that I knew from the beginning would go no where.  Yet, I continued to abuse myself emotionally.  I did, I beat myself up for the abuse I endured.  How the f@#* and what the f@#* was I thinking.  I didn't ask for a beating or did I?  I can't recall.  I've given and taken, and today I stand on firm ground.  I am here to tell you all that I am no longer a victim.  I have risen above all of that.  I am who I am meant to be, of course there are going to be tweaks here and there, but nonetheless, I am me.  I am enjoying life for the most part, there are always going to be days where all seems hopeless, but if I remember the paths that I have taken, I will overcome that as well.  It's a jumbled mess, thoughts are everywhere, no time to organize them.  Life for me has taken a turn, for the better, and once again I am embracing every moment I am given.