February 17, 2014

I have finally realized that I am not relationship material, nor will I ever be. My insecurities are overwhelming and my sense of self so warped that I fail to see what others' insist I must in order to maintain any sort of 'healthy' relationship. So be it is all I have to say. I had allowed myself to become comfortable with the idea that I will grow old alone, and it's certainly is a scary thought but I know now that it is what's meant to be. I have failed so many people over the course of my life and I can't muster up the strength to even contemplate the thought of allowing another to take hold of what remnants of a heart remain. I could cry myself a thousand tears and nothing would have prepared me for this eye opener, although, I do believe I knew it all along I just wasn't prepared to accept it for what it all was. So now, as I put the weights back onto my ankles and plunge into the abyss I will remember that I have absolutely no business meddling with another no matter the circumstance.