October 29, 2012

I have come to the realization that my life will forever remain the same. No change, no change! I am beginning to hate my life more with each passing moment. So much that I want to say, so much I want to share. I continuously dodge obstacles to get ahead and yet I still find the walls that I put up in place. These bricks that I have hand picked and strategically placed to avoid pain and discomfort, hurt and heartache are weakening and I haven't much shelter from the storm left to hide behind. What shall I do, where can I go in order to protect myself? How much more devastation must I encounter before the roadblocks have been cleared from the path that I alone am traveling, because it is alone that I am and forever will remain. punishment for things I have said or done I presume. I know I should let go, however; letting go I've heard is the hardest part. what if... I don't want to let go? What if..I won't ever want to let go? I can still move forward! I wish I had the strength to say what it is that I truly feel when I look into your eyes. I see what I want in them. It speaks to me as well. I suppose 'FEAR' prevents me from me from speaking. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!