March 21, 2011

So, Spring has sprung so they say, but with spring arises the rebirth of every living creature, not to exclude myself of course, because this has been a long time coming, and now the re-birthing of myself is about to take place.  I'm still a little unnerved at the thought but as painstaking as it may seem to me, it is an absolute necessity, I cannot fear what is happening although I am most comfortable in my old shoes (so to speak). I suppose it's high time I step out of those old shoes and try on my new ones, just to make sure there a proper fit, and what happens if in fact there a little snug, do I take them off and give them away or do I stand tall amidst the pain and walk a mile in these new "shoes"?   I believe I just answered my own question, which I do constantly, apparently I already know the answers and it's only a matter of implementing all that I've acquired into my new found freedom, my new found self.   There are still moments of uncertainty and things are not always clear, but somehow I muddle up the strength and find clarity within my own words, perhaps by telling another how awesome they appear to me, or lending an ear, and then in a split second realize that the advice I have just given or the encouragement I have just bestowed need not only apply for them, but for me as well.  Positive reinforcements should be a part of my daily life, but some days unlike others' I'm surrounded by my own misery, the misery I have created all on my own, not wanting to change or face myself, so I will once again look in that mirror, however; when I see my reflection this time around and my reflection sees me, I will be able to answer, what it is I have in fact seen.