November 21, 2013

It is clearly the manifestation of raw emotions that run ramped in my mind, wreaking havoc all the day long.  Do I allow for these emotions to take control or could it be that I am simply exhausted and fighting them one way or another would send me spiraling once again to the depths of the abyss.  I must say however; I find solace in the darkness, fear as well.  I compose myself quite well and "buck up" so as to not wake the sleeping emotions.  I know oh to well that if they all come to life at once I will be battling with myself for some time to come.  I haven't the energy to put up a fight.  I am holding onto to that metaphorical rope, the one which I have been holding onto for many years now.  My hands are calloused and tiring with every moment that passes.  A swift wind could either raise me up or cause me to lose my grip, either way I am very much afraid.  I feel them begin to boil over and I cannot allow for it.  What is it that I must do in order to rid myself of these sores that remain open.  I have masked pain time and time again and now the bandages have come loose and it is all there in the open.  Have at me if you must but please make it swift and painless.  I will not put up a fight.