July 28, 2015

I wonder if you have ever seriously pondered the thought or the idea even of just throwing your hands up and giving up completely.  I feel like a car wreck in the worst possible way.  I can't control my emotions, I'm killing my own self slowly.  I think I want to die even, I can't be certain but I know the idea has been lingering in my head for some time now and I become so enraged some nights, sleepless nights that I am afraid to be by myself.  I don't need companionship, relationships, friendships none of them.  It was a mere dream of mine once upon a time and I have thrown all of those ideals out the fucking window along with the cigarette butts.  I am WORTHLESS!