June 29, 2015

It's amazing to say the least how I can go from one mood to the next in a matter of mere seconds.  It's as if I'm possessed by someone or something and there is no known cure for such.  How is it that I torment myself whilst others' throw the shit off their shoulders and forget about situations that may seem petty to some but horrific for others'?  How is that possible?  Can someone give me a push because I am on the edge here just hanging on by a thread, throw a match, something...anything, cause me to fall because I can't take much more of the misery in my mind.  No matter how I try I cannot escape this shit. 

June 8, 2015

I've said this time and time again not only to myself but to others' so why is it that I find it most difficult to take in the advise I can so freely give out.  Is it that my experiences may benefit others more than they do myself, or perhaps I don't want to see others' suffer the way I have or continue to do?!  I allow myself to be manipulated not just occasionally but constantly, almost daily.  My thoughts are twisted by others' words and that causes me to twist my own words creating thoughts that aren't even mine.  I am sick to my stomach learning that I have once again fallen prey.  What the fuck is wrong with me?  I thought I overcame all of this, but apparently I haven't been hit hard enough with the "don't trust stick".  Lies, lies, more lies, deception, manipulation, etc...etc... WOW!

June 1, 2015

I understand that procrastination is a debilitating mind control, but for fuck sake, how much can one single individual procrastinate?