November 7, 2014

You would think that after so many years of allowing others' to dictate my moods that I would just walk away from the negativity that I surround myself with.  Unfortunately, I am not that type of person, when I do something to someone who is undeserving I am crippled with guilt and go out of my way to please.  I constantly back myself up against walls and such with no hope of escape.  I know I disappoint my children almost daily and that they view me as a failure but I continue to endure all that comes my way, as terrified as I am today I will continue to allow the words thrown at me to penetrate deep and tear my soul to shreds for the millionth time, and then somehow hoist myself up and disappoint another again.