November 10, 2014

Have you ever felt so low that looking up only clouds your vision even more?  Do you feel the angst that I feel even momentarily?  Do you ever think for one moment that the words I speak hold any truths?  Have I finally succumb to my own demise?  I don't have a leg to stand on anymore.  I try to do unselfishly and for others' but it somehow always backfires. I just don't understand anymore what my purpose is.  You are still here because God has something greater planned for you!  That is absolute bullshit.  I don't buy any of it.  I started to believe so, but realize it is all just a fucking game.  Life is a fucking game.  I am the prey and I allowed myself to become such by putting myself in the midst of a forest filled with starving beasts that want only to sink their fangs into me.  Go ahead, do me a final favor.  I won't put up a fight any longer, I haven't the strength. Here is the funniest part of it all, while I was lying there bleeding you thought it fucking commical to see me scream in agony so you poured salt on my open wounds. I must not be beaten down enough, so have at it.