October 15, 2013

It's so difficult wading in waters that are meant for boats. I've rid myself of life preservers because they no longer serve there purpose if they ever had. I have for so long tried to push my way into others' lives and without fail have pushed in the wrong direction. My heart hurts. The pain is almost unbearable. Is it so wrong to want to fit in somewhere, anywhere? I am so tired of being me. Most days I can't even look myself in the eye because I am so disgusted. I can't continue pretending...I can't hold a smile, I disappoint more people than I ever imagined and in doing so hate myself all the more. Why am I still here?