April 24, 2013

I feel myself falling off of my own balance beam and I'm not liking this one bit. I'm scared half to death, half I say. How do I recenter myself so that I can maintain my stability or what little there is. How do I scrape myself off of one side in order to put the two halves of self back together? What if it's not possible, what if it's too late? I can't allow for that person to emerge, not now, not ever... I see her shadow daily and have to step over her... I know what lurks within. My heart is racing, my fingertips are almost numb, a tingling sensation has come over me, and yep...you've guess it...I am scared! I don't want this feeling to linger any longer than necessary if it is at all necessary to begin with. Is this a warning sign? Should I heed it's warning signals? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?