1 Corinthians 13:4–8a

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

March 23, 2012

After much deliberation; I have decided to make this day, the first day on my road to physical and mental well being. I CANNOT endure one more painful outburst, backlash, argument, etc... It has torn at my heart for the last time. I am in pieces at this very moment. I need to gather myself together, and move forward. I realize that this is going to be one of the most difficult ventures of my life, but in order to stay focused I must go at this with deep and sincere intent. It's over. The fight for my life has just begun. Those seeds that need to be sewn, are sprouting, literally they are, they need soil, and sunlight, love and compassion in order to grow, just as I do. I need those things. I will not settle.

March 20, 2012

"We cannot reap that which we do not sew."  Sounds complex doesn't it, however; in all reality it's quite simple.  We bear the fruit of the seeds of which we sew, and if no seeds have been sewn than there will be no fruit to bear.  This must be applied to every aspect of life in order to attain true happiness, true contentment, true peace and true love.  Seeds MUST be sewn, in order to reap benefits of any sort.  I'm going to sew my seeds ASAP.

March 5, 2012

Thoughts are running ramped today, wondering if in haste I've made my desires unclear.  Sounds hypocritical if you ask me, to think that in the middle of this "Ordinary" life anyone would want that "Happily Ever After" with me.  I've been beaten and broken, and all I want today is to feel complete, happy and content.  Not ever wondering or worrying whether or not, or if, or maybe.  I need to feel 100% security within and without.  It's non-negotiable.  Do I even make any sense anymore.  Am I rambling to here myself ramble, or am I writing with intent.  Have I made myself perfectly clear?  Are there any stones left unturned?  Damned if I know.  Time will tell, so they say.  What if I don't have time, what if time is not on my side, and what if I want it "ALL" right now.  Why waste precious moments wishing and waiting.  What's to hold me back? FEAR? Yep, fear rules in this instance, it sucks 'ASS' but it rules.  DAMN!!!!!

Resentments are Countless

Upon awakening I pray for guidance,
Before my feet hit the floor. 
Unanswered prayers they embellish, 
The angst from my dreams the night before. 
Visions of sugar plums have been replaced, 
With pitted prunes and an unwelcoming taste.
I savored the days as they turned into nights,
Only to hear the howling of the demons as they entice. 
My thoughts are no longer my own, 
They are controlled by my past. 
I’ve been bullied, beaten and bruised. 
I’ve fallen prey for far too long, 
The hatred has spilled over and is no longer contained. 
I fear for your life and you know who you are, 
The ones’ who have frolicked while I sit in pain. 
The day has come for me to take my place 
And announce my vengeance, 
Whilst you all sit and wait. 
My blood has been boiling for entirely too long. 
Revenge is sweet and I must let go, 
For the anger inside has taken complete hold. 
I will avenge my own name sake, and come out on top, 
For paybacks a bitch and here's where it all stops.