April 20, 2011

And suddenly, I am able to take this intraverted self, and express openly, freely, without abandon, nor fear of ridicule.  Incentive?  Is all of this, all of this opening of my past and opening of doors just that an incentive? If so, why the necessity to open the old rickety ones' when right before my eyes stands a tall, fresh with life, door with a new frame, fresh paint, new hinges and knobs a door that seems to be one which is uncharted.  Should I tempt fate, or wait for my frame to be replaced, paint to be revived, hinges and knobs to be replaced and that sense of newness overcome me, before I open that tempting door?  I'm almost certain as I always am that if I take a step back and look closely those scratches will still be there, whether or not an overhaul has just been performed.  I will wait patiently until I know the time is perfect then entice myself to grab hold, open that door and walk straight in, no questions asked, and finally take my place.  Yes the door will be there, and so will I.