Does anyone other than myself realize the absolute anguish caused when one is let down? I'm not referring to being let down by a significant other (or whatever you call them) or 'love', for 'love' is one of the grandest of all facades. I am speaking personally let down, disgusted, wanting to spew vomit let down. I've brought most of this on myself, caused more pain and discomfort on my own and I have decided that I am moving on, I can not wait for those whom have NO direction, No motivation to find themselves, not now, not ever, not again in this life time. I am taking time for me, because I was once the one with no direction, no motivation. I will not be stagnated by the likes of any of you nor by the likes of the "old" me. I am aspiring to be a new "ME" and learning to love ME slowly. I'm freeing myself and I owe no one anything. Where were the bulk of you when I needed strength, when I lost faith in myself? I searched for someone and to no avail there wasn't a soul to be found, so what makes you think NOW is a good time to step in and offer your "services" or even contemplate the thought? Try this one on for size, "F@#* YOU!" That's all I've got for those of you who are of the least significance to me, my children and the rebuilding of my life.
Emotional ups and downs at this point are unavoidable and still a very big part of my daily life, and my letting go, and of the experiencing of new. I am so enthused with anticipation of what is YET to come. I have my entire life ahead of me, that is if I continue to maintain a sane or almost sane way of thinking and living, with those that will "benefit" me, as opposed to my old ways of allowing others' to stagnate and drag me down. Perhaps I've allowed this for so long because I did in fact lose sight of what was most important, ME. I lost any respect I had, had and yet managed to function daily. Go figure, how did I or better yet how could I allow this to consume me? Rest assured; I will never allow for myself nor anyone else for that matter to cause me strife.
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