August 23, 2010

I had the most wonderful of all weekends watching and observing my 14 year old daughter become one of God's children. She was indeed the most stunning and breathtaking vision I have ever seen, however; I felt as though I was losing her at the same time. Perhaps it's the way I have gone about behaving and interacting with my children that brings me to this feeling, nonetheless it was there, strong and heartwrenching to say the least, I made it through, held my head (or so I thought). It's amazing to actually visualize your youngest daughter amongst family and friends. She touches the lives of everyone she encounters and that makes my heart glow with gladness, not that I am taking full credit for the young woman she has become, because God knows I have not been positive role model at all (so I've been told time and time again) but I would like to be. I am looking forward to changing my ways as it's been extremely trying the past few weeks, emotions are up and down, mood swings are in full force, I feel as though I can't think straight most days let alone the minutes that drag into hours during these days. Why is it that I can't get my thoughts together as I have in the past, I ramble on about bullshit, and in doing so lose site of what is most important to me.