May 10, 2012

It’s one thing to isolate for personal reasons such as self-preservation, but to be forced into isolation is an unfair act. Perhaps on occasion I deserve to be pushed away, but I can’t continue living (if that’s what this is called) feeling completely alone in a world with millions of people.  It allows one (ME) to fall prey once again to those feelings of worthlessness, feeling unwanted and eventually after time it will force me into depression; a place I know oh so well.  It’s not a healthy place for me, because within the confinement of my mind lies, frustration and loneliness, pain caused from hurt then it manifests itself into utter anger, turned inward.  I need time for myself, to unravel my thoughts and put things into perspective, but to feel unwanted is the most agonizing of all that I have experienced.  I suppose being misunderstood, misled, misdirected and all else that comes with such doesn’t aid in the prevention of falling into that dark, cold and lonely place.  What’s next?  When will I finally reach that level of contentment that others’ possess (or so it seems)?  When will it be MY turn to experience elation beyond recognition?  WHEN?

“Do not get discouraged.
It is often the last key that opens the lock."

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