May 17, 2019

I wish I understood myself!

May 4, 2019

Feeling invisible today as every other day!  Only when I serve a purpose, whatever that purpose is, am I acknowledged.

May 3, 2019

How do I control myself at this point? I am so fucking lonely all day, every day. I bust my ass making certain to get my ass out of bed to make coffee, lunch and even add notes almost daily as a reminder, etc..and it doesn't end there, I prepare meals, do laundry (in its entirety) lawn maintenance,  gardening, dog Walker, cat caretaker, I feed birds, clean cages, hatch things I would rather throw at a fucking brick wall, but I do ALL of these things in hope's that one day you will see me. You never do, you NEVER will. You will however; always nitpick and criticize,  never once have you bought me a flower or left a note for no reason. I do my best to make myself seem somewhat attractive on the outside but inside I am ugly. Full of hatred and anger with no direction. You will NEVER see me.  Why try?