God damn if I don't see your true colours. Fuck me all over again. This is why I hate people. Just when you think it's safe to tread in shallow water the undertow lashes it's fury at your very soul and takes you down once again. There is no escaping the misery. I have attempted to time and again and to no avail here I lie at the bottom of the blackened abyss alone, cold and scared as I have always been. My skin no longer feels warm to the touch but cold and clammy as if my very soul were emptied. There is no such thing as love. Love isn't love by any means.
Here comes that wave again, full force, no holds barred whatsoever. There is absolutely no way to control it no escaping it's wrath unless of course hurting myself will take away the pain, pain that cannot be seen nor touched but felt. A pain so deep that only the sight of blood eases it's intensity. There is no good coming of my life any longer if there ever was any good to begin with, nor do I foresee it getting any better any time soon. I am so alone.
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Saturday, July 22, 2017
July 22, 2017
It seems as though the abyss has once again opened it's gaping hole and pulled me into it's darkness. I am not happy. I have NEVER been happy. I don't hold onto hope or anything of that nature that I will ever be or experience anything like happiness. Fuck this miserable life of mine that I have created all on my own.
Monday, July 3, 2017
July 3, 2017
That moment you realize you are being used, and you try with all of your being to understand where you (I) went wrong. I cannot comprehend any of this. I hurt more today than most in recent weeks. I need to find a way out of here.
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